‘Wasting a minute is a sin and the world will leave you aside when you take a moment to relax’.

Bella felt bogged down. An unimaginable weight pushed her further deep into the earth. There is heavy breathing and she is unable to filter her thoughts. She is drowned in her own thoughts that spray the fumes of negative spirits. She attempted to refocus on her work but felt the breathlessness to cease her movements. She closed her laptop screen which she has been looking at for more than 8 hours. She grabbed a book to make the right use of time. ‘Wasting a minute is a sin and the world will leave you aside when you take a moment to relax’. This thought of the millennial made her grab another book on human history. She started reading without even waiting to ponder if she was breathing at all. Alas! She couldn’t take that for sixty seconds! PANIC

She dragged her body to the bed and wept into the pillow. A silent downpour of tears… Below a concrete wall her family watched the television and mocked the political drama that opened up. 50 metres above their brains there lay their daughter fighting with an unknown and unseen enemy with a tired heart and swollen eyes.
Courage had slipped off from her balcony without mentioning a return date. After an hour of weeping she wiped her mobile screen. Unlocked. Opened Whatsapp, searched for “Michu”. Out of 283 contacts she picked one.

Hi.                                                   09.50pm
I am having a panic attack.         09.50pm
I am trying to calm down.           09.51pm

She stared at the endless messages in the groups. Motionless and still… Mere words. Random emoji.
Bella was tongue tied. She walked to the toilet, washed her salty eyes and took down her bra. Got back to bed and her eyes could not stay awake. Silently slipped into darkness.

Soon she found herself in her school with a new library. It looked modern. Rebuilt to meet the ultra modern frames of Instagram. She met her school manager… walked in and grabbed a copy of “Colour Purple”. He guided her to a class. It was a mix. She found her intimate friends there. Asmu and Michu sat in the corners. Ker was on the middle bench. Then a lot of unfamiliar faces.

She saw Meena, her enemy in the second row smirking at her. Meena seemed to be fixed in her mind to ruin this moment… Bella thought to herself. Bella went ahead and spoke about “Language politics”. All throughout the lecture she wondered;

“Why am I speaking at my school?
Why am I speaking about language politics?”

The sound of the alarm choked her thoughts. Bella opened her eyes and her ceiling fan stood turning. She took a few minutes to get around her thoughts. She opened up her phone that lay next to the bed. Straight to Whatsapp:

Hi, what happened?                           12.01 am.
She did not have an answer to type out.
She searcher for “Asmu”,

Hi.                                                         07.00 am
I miss u                                                 07.00 am

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Banni Pulikottil

Something personal ?